Freedom

Freedom

Has anyone told you, “Find out whatever works for you.”?

Yup, heard it, done it through a lot of trial and error. I mean it, A LOT. But I love the freedom to choose. Don’t you? I naively thought freedom was a given. My citizenship, my adulthood, the free will to choose my faith, my life’s path. I’m in control, just how I like it.

Then I hit the hardest season of my life when I realized someone had stolen my ability to choose what I believed was best for me. Through a web of misleading stories and lies, my so-called freedom felt manipulated and controlled. I wasn’t presented with truth in order to freely decide what really did work for me.

We’ve heard it before. “The truth will set you free.” I have intimately lived this and can confirm, indeed it will. When I felt like I didn’t have my freedom, I was in a shame spiral. Been there before? I felt small, I played small, I blamed myself.

But when the knock-ya-over-bright-ass-light was shed on specifics of this relationship, I FELT IMMENSE FREEDOM. My shoulders literally uncurled and I was finally seeing through the dense fog. Through my doubts, self-blame, insecurities, and quietness – I discovered a crucial thing. I could trust my instincts, myself. There was my freedom.

Here I am. This is my unexpected late 30s and I’m seeing with new eyes, open heart, and a lot of healing. I’m finding new meaning in my work as a photographer and falling in love with clients. I’m choosing what I still love to document, which is family and childhood. I’m understanding that dynamics look different for every family and there is immense beauty in that.

I’m taking road trips so the wind can take me. Blow my hair, my soul, the doubt out of my body. It can remind me of all that is GOOD in my life, how God is good. It takes the stressful breathing away and replaces it with soulful breathing. The sun can warm my skin, bring out the freckles, and remind me to smile – welcoming the wrinkles.

Don’t forget to ask yourself, “Is it REALLY working for you?” Be true to your instincts, my friends. Your soul is depending on you.

 

This post is in collaboration with The Refined Collective Series. Be sure and check out the other ladies in this wonderful group Katrina Ramsvik, Jessica Shakir, Brynn Watkins, Yvette JainKathryn McCormick, Sarah Shreves

 

 

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *